Modern Mediterranean Magical Mako Movement
by Dead Account. Deal With It
Summary: FF7/HP xover. SLASH Het, MPreg. Cloud has gone insane and the only person who can help him, Sephiroth, is dead. It will take the teamwork of the Turks and Harry and crew to save the world from Cloud, and Cloud from himself. Potterverse, Dark Humor.


Title: Modern Mediterranean ~Magical~ Mako Movement

Rating: Mature, very very mature.

Summery: Cloud Strife's mind has finally snapped. The only thing that could make him sane again is his lover Sephiroth, but Sephiroth is dead. It will take the team work of the Turks and Harry Potter and Crew to save Cloud not only from himself, but from hurting innocents as well.

Pairings: Harry/Rude. Tseng/Rufus. Reno/Neville. Snape/Elena. Ginny/Luna. Ron/Hermione. Kinda sorta main point maybe I don't know what i want yet, XD

Warnings: Rufus's mouth. lots of sex, _**MPreg**_, **SLASH!!!,** blood and guts, lots of crazy-killers. the HP side is going to be so frikken cliché, it's not funny, and the Final Fantasy side will be as original as possible. Another warning: I really like the word "badassary" so that's gonna make an appearance a few hundred times XD

~~Story~~

The Walls were spotless. Unlike the apartment he shared with his partner, the walls in Shin-Ra Electric Power Company were spotlessly white. Whoever cleaned the damn things needed a raise. They were too white….

"Walls like these make me wish I wore sunglasses, yo." Rude looked to the shorter Turk and smirked a bit.

"You have goggles on your head Reno."

"Not the same, yo."

"You've gotta stop that, partner."

"Stop what?" Reno knew what, he just liked playing. He smirked and waited for Rudes' silence. He smiled when he received it.

They continued to walk in silence, Rude with his shoulders back and hairless head held high while Reno slouched and sauntered; his bright red hair swaying in its pony tail. Shin-Ra building was huge and white – thankfully the Turks had their own floor just below the top floor. They had five large offices, training rooms and a huge lounge that Reno and Rude had remodelled to be even larger Reno's second year on the job. And they loved their jobs.

Reno, a good ten years younger than Rude was the youngest ever Turk, and only known Slum Rat to ever become a Turk. Most people believe it was his ballsiness, others thought it was his badassary, his spunk or attitude. Only the Turks knew the truth.

At ten years old Reno killed three Turks and a Shin-Ra department head. If Reno hadn't run away as fast as he had, dodged traffic like he did and smuggle himself above the plate to sneak into Shin-Ra and apologise to Tseng, the head of Turks, he would have been killed on site. But Reno, at ten, was recruited to be a Turk. He skipped the 14 years of training like the children born to be Turks inside Shin-Ra went through. He skipped the 5 years of training like the outside-Shin-Ra Turks suffered. He was only given short lessons on hand-to-hand combat, long and short range shooting and driving lessons. He was on the payroll in three months and piloting the Presidents personal Helicopter and Jet plane in seven months. He was given a partner and his own office when he was 11. He was a perfect Turk even back then.

Rude met Reno when he was 10. Assigned a mission with four other Turks to go to Sector 7 slums and collect a MakoNectar trafficker, he never suspected to see a little kid, who looked no older than 8, to be sitting playing cards with the trafficker. The trafficker had run when Rude called for his partners, but left the kid sitting there, most likely freezing cold and hungry. "That man owes me money!" the kid screamed as the other three men rounded the corner and started shooting. Rude screamed for them to stop but they never did. The kid just suddenly ran at the men, dodging their bullets and snarling.

The next ten minutes were a blur, with Rude simply staring as the skinny bright eyed, red headed boy took his gun and shot three times. Perfect bullet holes appeared between the three mens' eyes. And then he ran. The only other man with them was some guy Rude didn't know that well. Some head of a small department in Shin-Ra. Obviously he was stupid because he stepped in front of the desperately running boy and was downed by a pistol whipping that would have made Tseng jealous. The man died three days later from internal bleeding, severe blunt force trauma and brain damage. No one mourned his passing because they were all far too surprised to do anything other than stare at the small child who waltzed into Tsengs' office two hours after the man died. "I wanted to say I was sorry to you in person." he said, slowly. "I killed three of your men, and ran after killing some jerk off who was in my way. So there; I'm sorry. Stop chasing me." He placed the gun on the floor and walked out of the room.

"Wait!" Tseng had screamed. "Come back here!" but the kid appeared to be gone.

"Sir, check the cafeteria."

"Rude, why would he be there?"

"Free food for those who have access to this floor."

The two Turks made it to the dining area just in time to see the boy finish eating. They sat at his table and explained everything. Two years later, Reno and Rude took a sledge hammer to the walls separating the waiting room and lounge to make an even larger lounge. They even knocked in the wall separating their offices so they could share one office, making an odd number of five offices on the floor in total. Six years later they were pleased to receive another Top Turk on the force – Elena. Blonde and talkative, she and Reno fought constantly, but that didn't matter. Reno, Rude and Elena soon became thick as thieves, along with their bosses Tseng and Rufus Shin-Ra they made up the Higher Ups of the Turks.

"Hey Rude?" Reno decided to ask while they continued walking to Rufus's office "How long was 'Lena's training?"

"About six years, why?"

"I want to know what training is like."

"No you don't." Rude always answered that statement like that. Reno knew he would have to stop the conversation soon, he could see the door down the hall but he wanted to know. He missed out on training, and went straight to killing. He wanted to know what he was born with that other people had to be taught.

"Yes I do, yo. I want to-"

"We've arrived" And Rude opened the door.

~~HP~~

"No! NO! Boys put that DOWN! Right now! Don't play with the glass please? RON!" Hermione Granger, Luna Lovegood and Ginny Weasley were about to die. Their hearts were fluttering a mile a minute and could barely believe that their own best friend would play catch with a priceless glass vase they stole from Riddle Manor.

"Relax Hermione. We won't drop it…on purpose." The boys laughed at Neville joke. The boy had become very confidant after the death of Bellatrix Lestrange – the woman who had tortured his parents beyond insanity.

"Neville, please;" Ginny asked gently. "Please come down off the roof and give me the vase. It's priceless."

"Gin" Her brother called down to her "The vase is worth nothing now!"

"Ronald! Get down here this instant or I will call your mother I swear I will!"

"Gin, she won't care! Everyone knows what this vase has done. Can't we screw with it a bit?"

"Harry?" Luna called gently to the silent, timid boy on the roof. "Harry, how do you feel about this?"

"I don't know" he answered in a small voice. He refused to touch the vase. He just wanted to watch as Ron and Neville destroyed it over and over again. It made him feel slightly empty to watch them play with something that held so much meaning. In reality he had to get over it. He wasn't a killer exactly – okay. Yes he was a killer. Cold blooded, he figured his calling, as well as Ron's and Neville's and the girls, was to kill people. They not only liked it but they loved it. They hired themselves out as mercenaries and people paid them. Countries paid them to kill leaders; people paid them to kill their enemies and they killed Death Eaters when they could spare a minute. Even though, he thought, they had the capacity to kill people, that didn't mean they could have fun desecrating things that made them hate their lives. And Harry officially hated his life.

"That vase has done a lot for you, and against you. Do you hate it?" Luna asked gently

"No, I don't hate it. I think I love it. I hate my life though."

"How could you hate your life now, mate? The three of us are immune to poisons now!" Ron told him while flicking the vase back to Neville on the roof across of where he sat. "We got super powers, and then discovered we were killers. Then we get this vase and suddenly a Basilisk couldn't kill us if it looked us in the eyes for three hours! We can run faster than most humans, swim like dolphins, and our powers – alone – are more impressive than Grindewald, Dumbledores and You-Know-Who's combined!"

"Ron I know where he's coming from though" Neville cut in tossing the vase back to his friend. "Harry got screwed over when he cut Voldemort's head off. Don't tell me you haven't noticed?"

"Noticed what?" Ron tossed the vase back to Neville. The girls stared at Ron in shock. He really was completely incompetent. The three girls effortlessly jumped from the ground onto the roof of Number 4 Privet Drive, where Harry sat with his legs tucked in and his head resting on his knees.

It hardly surprised the other four teenagers that Ron hadn't noticed the changes in Harry. Ever since they had all met, they had all known that Ron was pretty much only strategy and brute force. Harry wasn't even embarrassed by his changes anymore, he had lived with them for over a year since he first killed and he happened to like his body. It was riddled with scars from his abusive relative and his time during the war but he barely noticed anymore. Since his changes, he was so comfortable with himself he never had to act cocky anymore. He could be as timid as he wanted. Besides, he figured, they never suspected the timid ones to be cold blooded killers.

Luna and Harry were always the first hired for stealthy jobs. Ron for the ones that needed lots of thinking and Hermione for the jobs whose targets face or location was unknown. Ginny was hired mostly for suspects who were easy to lure out with a pretty face. Neville often worked with Ginny, he was too versatile for just one specialty. Either way, the six teenagers were the most feared killers in Europe. Not that their employers knew what they looked like, but that was something else entirely.

"Ron! He shrunk! He chopped off Voldemort's head and he lost four inches!" Hermione shouted as Neville jumped onto their roof from across the street

"Ron," Ginny began, fuming "he's also got a proper waist line. Men don't normally have waist lines! Granted you can barely see it but its obvious when you've known him for how long we have! Ron you are an idiot!"

"Ron," Neville stated slowly as he dragged Harry to his feet and ripped off the shorter boys' shirt "Harry also got a birthmark. See, here on his shoulder? In the shape of a glowing circle?"

"And Ron," Luna said with a smile on her lips "remember when Madame Pomfrey told us Harry is very, very, special? You passed out right after she said this, but Harry can carry children, Ron. He can carry children to term Ron. He's been blessed by the Nargles."

And, at the news that his long time best friend could become pregnant, Ronald Weasley lost consciousness...again.

"He's hopeless" Hermione muttered as she hopped to the other roof. "He's also dead weight. Neville? Come help me?"

"Sure" he put Harry down and helped Hermione toss Ron into the master bedroom window, where, with out fail, Ron had probably landed on a sharp object.

"Im sorry my brother is such a dumbass Harry." Ginny apologised before flipping under the roof and into the house through a random window.

"Harry?"

"Yes Luna?"

"Are you sad because you've yet to find love?"

"Luna, you know me too well. I act like such a girl sometimes. It annoys me."

"Don't worry Harry. The sky has the answers"

"Tonight or tomorrow, Luna?" Harry asked, knowing it was one of her mini-prophecies.

"I don't know, Harry. I do know that it will be very loud, unexpected and that they are a special kind of people. Good night Harry." And she too flipped under the roof to settle to sleep.

Harry pondered on her words for a while. He knew that there were people in the world who could do things no one had ever dreamed of. In the middle of the Mediterranean Sea there was nearly an entirely different world. They lived and died differently. Not, socially differently, but bodily differently. Their world, their island had what they called a life stream. No one ever went there, and no one ever exited there to come to the outside world. Only the magical world knew it existed. It was like an Atlantis, but it wasn't. It was entirely different. They had a special magic and special gods that they could call upon with that special magic. Maybe that was who Luna was speaking about. The people of Gaia.

~~FF~~

"Rude, Reno, We have a situation." A stern voice spoke from behind the presidents turned Chair. Ever since President Rufus Shin-Ra had been put in a delicate situation he never liked to face his door. Very little people knew that behind the ridiculously large wing backed chair there was a tiny desk that always had food on it. President Rufus Shin-Ra's pregnancy was hilarious to those who knew. "One" the president began in a completely serious voice "where the fuck is my Chinese food? We ordered twenty minutes ago."

"Mr. President-" Tseng, the father of Rufus's fussy and controlling baby, attempted to calm the fuming blond man.

"Don't 'Mr. President' me, god dammit. I want my fucking Chinese food!"

"It will be here shortly. I told the manager who it was for and that any longer than half an hour included death."

"Good. Second. Cloud Strife has stolen away to Earth's continent Europe. We have been told by Tifa Lockhart that he is suffering from Geostigma Delusions – a Geostigma symptom we saw occurring in those who previously had Mako Poisoning. He is convinced that Sephiroth is alive and that he is somewhere in Brittan – yes Reno?"

The red head slowly lowered his raised hand and had the sense to look sheepish "What's a Brittan? Wait, whats a Earth?"

"Rude," Rufus said slowly, turning his chair around to reveal a very, very large pregnant belly "you told me you educated him when you brought him in. ABCs during you're little construction project, numbers during missions…geography during paperwork hours." The anger dripped from Rufus.

"I only taught him Gaia, Sir. He can't use Materia except in his EMR so I figured he didn't need to know about Earth and its magic."

"Rude, buddy," Reno interrupted, feeling like being a nit-pick "It's not 'EMR' dude. It's either Mag Rod or Night Stick."

"Whatever!" Rufus cut in loudly, "I don't care what the fuck it's called. You don't know anything about Earth! How the Fuck are you supposed to get us there?!"

"A Map?" he tried to say with bravado (all of which disappeared when Rufus threw a plate at his head)

"You are an idiot! An imbecile! A Slum R-" He cut off. Everyone in the room suddenly became docile. Rufus instantly felt horrid. The worst thing anyone could ever say about someone from the slum was that they were a Slum Rat. Even after working for the man for more than 15 years, Reno had never reconciled with himself that be belonged above the plate. He had once destroyed his home sector on the orders Heidegger. Bruised and bleeding, the only thing that Reno could think of in those moments was how it was divine retribution that a slum rat that made his life above the plate should die in the very slums he had left ten years prior.

"A map will not work, Reno, because Gaia is not on their maps, nor are they on ours." Tseng said calmly. "However, I can print directions for you and we can go from there. Tell Elena as soon as she's back from break and ready the plane that houses the two Helicopters. Dismissed."

"Yes Sir."

"Yeah Boss."

~~HP~~

"Hey Neville?" Harry asked softly from his bottom bunk in the newly renovated smallest room at Number 4 Privet Drive.

"Yea, Harry?"

"What would my uncle say if he could see us all now? Ron and Hermione passed out in his bed, Luna and Ginny cuddling in their bed in Dudleys old room. You abandoning you're master bed in the guest room to bunk with me. What would he say?"

"He wouldn't say anything, Harry. He would beat you to halfway to hell and leave you for dead to heal in the cupboard…why won't you let us collapse that?"

"Because, for some reason, I think of home."

~~FF~~

"What do you think Lena will say?" Reno asked as he perched on the ledge of the counter, sipping his coffee.

"What do you really want to ask?" Rude replied, sitting in his leather recliner, flipping through the muted cable channels

"What else have you been keeping from me?" he set his signature "killing isn't a moral issue" mug on the counter. He had made it himself once he had learned how to spell.

"A lot of things, really. History of Gongaga, polotics, religion."

"You've kept religions from me? That's like, against the law, yo."

"I thought you knew them all. You were ten when I found you, most kids had been taught religions by then. I didn't know you had been orphaned since you were four till two years ago."

"So, what do you think Lena will say?" Reno asked once more. This time Rude just shrugged, obviously tired of talking. The large bald man just leaned back and fell into a shallow slumber. Reno knew he was sleeping by the way the held his hands. They had been partners far too long to not know those kinds of things.

Smiling, Reno leaned his back against the cabinet and thought a bit. So there was an entire world he had never been told about before just hours off the cost of Wutai. Whatever, right? It didn't really matter. But he supposed it did. Reno was one of the only Turks who had to be taught to read upon entering the job. He wasn't ashamed of being an illiterate, hell only people above the plate could read. Sure villages and towns all over Gaia have near 100% literacy, but Midgar didn't. Only twenty percent of people in sector 8 could read. Only ten percent of infantrymen could read. He felt highly educated being a Turk. He, unlike most SOLDIERS could multiply. So why did he feel so stupid? Fuck it, he thought. So what if he didn't know. If he needed to know something in the future, Rude would tell him. Rude wasn't just his best friend and partner, he was his teacher and trainer – granted Reno had to teach himself how to use the Mag Rod. The Mag Rod – Reno smiled. His Mag Rod was special. No one else had a night stick quite like his. Sure the newcomer Turk he had trained about ten years prior used a Mag Rod but his was something else.

Reno had once been stolen. Kidnapped wouldn't be right, because that would constitute something against someone's will. No, he had been stolen. Being young and stupid, a child who could barely read, he went with someone who claimed to be a Turk. An Ex-Turk in reality, the man had taken him to an abandoned prison like facility and had taken to beating Reno daily. Every day he was fed barely scraps and beaten until he was almost dead. He was told he had spent three months there that he had turned 12 years old there, but he didn't believe Rude. Reno, during his stay there, had been hung up on a crucifix for days. He was been fed three grapes and a leaf of lettuce each day and each day he would have that electric torture device shoved in his mouth and turned on nearly high voltage.

High voltage. Reno had learned the hard way to never use his Mag Rods high voltage. It was the day that his captor had left his cell door open to get something from his office. Reno, limping badly and barely breathing, had snuck from his cell into an adjacent one. When the man came back, and found his play thing missing, Reno stole the Rod, turned it on high and pressed the "on" button. Suddenly, a blast of pure white electricity erupted from the rod and coursed through his captives' body. When Reno came to from his shock all that was left was a mass of blood and badly burnt cloth.

Reno managed to find a phone in the prison and call the only numbers he had managed to memorise since he had be brought to the Turks – Rudes PHS.

"Reno! Earth to Reno!" Elena's voice cut through his thoughts. "Damn I thought you were like, ultra alert. Like Rude or Tseng. But even Rude is out. He's so deeply asleep, I took off his glasses and he didn't notice. I put them back on him upside down, I know he'll notice, but I know he won't be that mad. He thinks that sort of thing is funny doesn't he?"

"Yea he does, but we gotta tell you something so wake him up. Damn. I spilled my coffee, yo."

~~HP~~

"Luna?" Ginny asked her long time lover quietly

"Yes?" Luna replied, cuddling the older girl closely

"Why?"

"The Snorkacks are gone. They've gone someplace else. They've taken the evening train away. They've replaced the long white casket with something else. And in their place, there are magics we've never dreamed of."

"When will the Snokacks come back, Luna?"

"When the King births a new dawn." And with that Ginny Weasley began to sob.

~~FF~~

"How will Reno get us there? No offence, Reno, you are powerful, but you can't use Materia. How will we get through the barrier?" Elena asked in a small, hard voice.

"There will be enough of us in the plane to make up for Reno's lack."

On the hanger, Rufus stood shirtless eating Chinese noodles from the carton with Tseng at his side. "Rufus, please, put a shirt on at least?"

"No." The president replied hotly "If you claim to love my body than deal with it. I was hot."

"Rufus, please its freezing out here. Even just a tank top, something, anything? Rufus, your lips are turning blue!"

"They are not, Tseng. Im so hot im sweating. Now shut up. Where is Reno?" Rufus said, dropping his empty Chinese container and strutting over to the plane, his hands on his back. "I am six fucking months pregnant. I get what ever I fucking want; do you understand me, boy? You put me in this position, and I have to deal with, however much I love this little parasite inside me." Still fuming he barely noticed as Reno opened up the plane and Sauntered into the cockpit.

"Sir, Reno has arrived, we are about to depart." Tseng whispered carefully

"Oh, so now, im 'Sir'."

"Rufus, just get on the plane, please."

"Alright, do you have the rest of my food?"

"Yes."

"Good. Lets' get this over with. I miss my bed and I am freezing cold. Do you have my jacket? Hand it to me will you?"

[[[To be continued.]]]

I love Rufus and his pregnantness.


End file.
